MOLE DAY! - Here's my new stand-up routine. 6.02E23 reasons to laugh!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEiajokf1fs
Here's the lyrics to my "Ab Initio Oratorio" - an ode to Quantum Chemistry. I perform it here, btw:
https://www.spreaker.com/user/marshcarroll/ab-initio-oratorio
AB INITIO ORATORIO
Hey, Do they still hartree fock
or am I in a quantum state of shock?
I used to use the MO theory
wavefunctions spread from Huron to Erie
I used to calculate an eigenstate
for Hydrogen cation - not so great
STO was my goto basis set
Adding a ++ without regret
But now I see a spherical harmonic
Through a glass of gin and tonic
Call it an old man's intuition
but I'm anxious about basis set superposition
Density Functional Theory blows my mind
But the lowest energy I must find
Thomas Fermi Schrodinger Hund
Correlation Energy Exchange Traded Fund
Hey, Do they still hartree fock ?
on computers the size of a city block?
I was a theorist looking for a self-consistent field
The experimentalist had a percentage yield
Once I had a propensity
to explore the electron density
Searching for regions of zero flux
In Canada, US and BeNeLux
Programmed pre-internet with the Fortran
Now only used in Kazakstan - very nice
Approximating the wavefunction
Now I watch reruns of Petticoat Junction
Lived in Hamilton with a Hamiltonian
now Winnipeg having rye with balonium
Hey, Do they still hartree fock ?
Or model a Gaussian random walk?
Coudn't solve the mystery
Do I publish in jpc or jcp
Sometimes in Britain, sometimes a jacs credit
now I submit to groups on reddit.
Got my phd from mcmaster
would've got it sooner if I worked faster
Did the Gaussian, did the GAMESS
Heck, I almost moved to Ames - Iowa
Idaho, where those damn electrons go
Still made my Thesis into a book
Hoping for a groovy hook
But it just sits in the Thode Library
Downloaded once to a BlackBerry
Hey, Do they still hartree fock ?
Beats me. I just listen to old school rock.
- Dr. Marshall Carroll allthisscience@gmail.com